


Sober Love

by rupeecoloredhair



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Soft sex, genji doesnt know what a relationship is and mccree is gonna show him, genji/oc is a past relationship, tags & characters will be updated with every chapter, the smut will get better i swear, tryin to make somethin fluffy, warning for hinted death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-04 18:05:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14598687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rupeecoloredhair/pseuds/rupeecoloredhair
Summary: Genji never had the opportunity to enjoy something like a boyfriend, a relationship, for fear of making others in his past upset. Now he can, but he doesn't know what to do.





	1. Cold Register, Warm Hands

Late nights and hushed whispers. Barely knowing names or faces. Drunken off sake or cheap beer from the gas station. Wandering hands, staring eyes, lips too close, drunk on another kiss that makes him never want to be sober again. Dark hallways and dark rooms. The rustle of clothes and hands on skin and he’s fallen for someone again.

Genji knows their names. He pretends he doesn’t but he does. He knows their names and faces, he loves every name and face, he hates that he can’t keep every name and face. Make them his, even for a few days.

Don’t ask, don’t tell. No one can know.

Hanzo knew. Genji doesn’t know  _ how  _ but he knows. Every. Single. Time. A side-eye glance, a sad frown , saying nothing as he closes his door and pretends it never happened. Genji never dared to bring it up himself. A secret.

He knew it wouldn’t stay secret for long. Soon, they all knew. They barred him from the names and faces, kept him away from everyone.He couldn’t leave, only study or practice or train. No more playing or partying or anything Genji enjoyed. 

Live for the clan, die for the clan.

“Overwatch isn’t that much different,” Genji muses. McCree glances over to him, looking confused under the brim of his hat. “Live for Overwatch, die for Overwatch, right?”

“What ya mean?”

“Overwatch saves you, trains you, so you fight for them. Loyal to Overwatch, to Blackwatch, willing to die for them too. Why? Because you owe them.” Genji shrugs, “Live for the clan, die for the clan. Live for Overwatch, die for Overwatch. Am I wrong?”

It’s already dark. The only light the two have is from Genji himself and the stars in the sky. Red biolights blinking in tandem with what would be Genji’s breaths if he had lungs. Genji counts it; five seconds at full brightness, five seconds to dim, five, five, again and again. A programmed pattern.

“It’s different for the others,” McCree finally speaks through a puff of smoke. “They’re not like us, they have a choice. They can leave whenever, have a life and do whatever they want, we can’t. You and I are stuck here until--”

“We die.”

Heavy silence as thick as fog falls between them both. Genji doesn’t mind the silence with McCree. The others tend to stare at him, feeling awkward at the sudden lack of conversation, McCree doesn’t. It’s natural with him. Heavy topic means heavy silence, it’s not because he doesn’t want to talk to Genji but because he’s following the flow of conversation.

Genji misses conversation. Not chat, not polite talking,  _ conversation _ . But people don’t converse with weapons.

“Why do you always do this?”

“Hm?”

“You get all existential on me when we come up here, is it the roof? Is it just being out here that makes you wonder what life is?” There’s a teasing lilt to Mccree’s voice along with a smile.  He’s playing with Genji. It makes him smile.

“I was just thinking about...before. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry, I’m only teasin’. I am serious about the roof though. Maybe we should find another hang-out spot, one that doesn’t make you think so much.”

“That could be nice,” Genji hugs his knees, resting his head as he looks over to the cowboy. “But I do like looking at the stars...hat did you have in mind?”

“I mean, if you like the stars my room has a pretty nice window.”

Genji opens his mouth, but a response dies on his lips., The implication of what McCree says hits him. He blushes, hiding his face and laughing quietly, “Jesse McCree, are you--”

“Get your head out of the gutter, I’m doing no such thing,” Jesse playfully pushes Genji’s shoulder. He’s lying. Hiding it behind a playful tune but the sudden embarrassment, unable to look at Genji directly, playing with the brim of his hat, telltale signs that one Jesse McCree might be lying. “My room does have a nice window. You’d like it.”

“Then show me.”

Genji watches McCree blush, quickly hidden under a brimmed hat and a puff of smoke. It’s endearing. Adorable. Entrancing…truthful.

It’s late. The two speak in whispers as they walk back to McCree’s room. In the dark, Genji can barely see McCree’s face. He still knows what’s coming. The door opens, his heart races, his feet rush forward, his lips are on McCree’s before the door even closes.

McCree is strong. Arms pull Genji close like he never wants to let Genji go. Kisses are long, passionate, and leave Genji breathless after each one. Fingers trace the armor of Genji’s body while Genji’s own hands move under McCree’s clothes. Both searching for those sweet spots that make the other go weak.

Genji can’t remember the last time he fell in love while sober.

He’s on the bed in the next moment. McCree wastes no time in stripping before he’s over Genji. McCree doesn’t hesitate when his kisses move lower, brushing against faux skin and metal, the foreign feeling makes Genji’s breath hitch.

“That sensitive?” McCree whispers, teasing. As always.

“Different,” is all Genji will say.

Before, Genji was in control. He was confident and cocky. He knew just what to do to make his lover melt beneath his attention. Now, Genji is muffling sounds behind his hand at the odd feeling of McCree inside him. An imitation of what he’s used to, but one that leaves his head reeling,unable to collect his thoughts for anything more than another heady kiss.

It’s odd to feel McCree’s hand on his armor. The pressure registers but that’s all it does, register. He can’t  _ feel _ it. He registers McCree inside of him, knows that it’s McCree that’s sending those flashes of pleasure through him, but it’s not a feeling. He wants to feel McCree.

“My hands, hold my hands,” Genji whispers as he reaches down to where McCree's hands laid on his waist. The request catches McCree off guard but he doesn’t say no, taking a moment to grab Genji’s hands and hold tight before pinning them to bed and starting a new brutal pace.  _ Now,  _ Genji can feel it.. McCree’s hands hold his tight, like one holds a lover. Not a fling.

Does McCree love him? That would explain all of the late nights and worried messages. IIt’d explain why McCree seemed to know when Genji was training later than usual, all the meals shared in the mess together, the silent need for reassurance that Genji was okay during missions...and the pet names.

“You alright, darlin’?” McCree’s voice is a whisper. Hoarse but sweet, said barely a breath away from Genji’s lips letting Genji smell the cigar smoke on his breath, eyes wide and worried.

“Do you love me, McCree?”

Genji doesn’t quite have a heart anymore, but the emotions feel the same. A tight feeling in his chest at the silence that follows his answer, the lump in his throat, eyes growing heavy with tears, holding his breath as he waits for an answer. Any answer. Good or bad, just something.

“I, uh,” McCree chuckles, hands gripping Genji’s hands affectionately tight. “I do, yeah.”


	2. Gone But Never Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why couldn't Genji say he loved McCree back? Was it just a slip of the mind, or a purposeful slip of the tongue?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags have been updated! tags and characters will continue to be updated as the story progresses.  
> EDIT: after my initial post, the formatting got entirely fucked even though I spent nearly an hour to make sure it wouldn't. it's now been edited to show the entire chapter. I'm sorry it was messed up like that in the first place.

The club flashes with light: bright, neon technicolors flashing in time with faux instruments and mechanic beats. The people danced along, uncaring of the noise or lights. Outfits as colorful as the lights, voices as loud as the music, feet moving of their own accord. Lost in the crowd, Genji couldn’t help but feel relaxed for the first time in weeks. Nothing to do. No appearances to keep. Just having fun.

A color kept catching his gaze. A bright green like his own hair. The same color actually, now that he gets a better look. He’s dancing alone. Something Genji changes  _ very _ quickly.

Brown eyes meet Genji’s own when he comes close. A smile and a laugh at the notice of their matching green hair, a step closer, dancing along with Genji.

“Kohei.” A step even closer, hands moving to Genji’s waist as he leans down to say his name in Genji’s ear. An excuse to be closer.

Genji kisses him then and there.

“Genji,” he finally whispers back. His arms around Kohei’s neck, legs holding to his waist, clothes hurriedly coming undone. Kohei laughs in his ear, “Now you tell me.”

“Seemed like a good time.” A drunken kiss, full of alcohol and sweets. Genji can taste the candy on his tongue. Sweet. Like Kohei.

“I’m gonna remember you, Genji,” Kohei says before he rolls his hips, gently thrusting inside Genji. Too drunk to care about noise, Genji moans at the feeling. “After my hangover, I’ll remember you.”

“No you won’t.”

“I will. I’ll remember your hair, your voice, your name,  _ Genji _ ,” Kohei lets the name roll off his tongue. “ _ Fuck _ , you feel amazing.” Kohei snaps his hips up, making Genji yelp. “I want to remember you.”

“You’re cute,” Genji gasps. Kohei smiles wide. Cute. Cute. Cute, cute,  _ cute  _ and sweet. Genji grabs Kohei’s hair and pulls him into a kiss. Deep, heady, intoxicating, they both pulled away panting and blushing. Kohei’s hips move harsher, snapping into Genji with more and more force. Genji’s hands dig into Kohei’s shoulder, gripping hard as he’s pushed into the wall with every thrust.

“Genji, Genji, fuck.” Kohei’s hips began to move erratically. The hands on Genji’s waist grip tighter, Kohei kisses Genji again before he’s tempted to bite at Genji’s neck. He’d promised no marks. Biting Genji’s lips, kissing deeper, Genji moans and gasps into the deep kiss when he cums.  Kohei chases his own release until both are panting from their highs.

“Stay with me? For the night.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Kohei kisses gently at Genji’s neck, making Genji move his head. “Just a night.”

“I have to go home.”

“Then I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“You won’t.”

“I will, I will and I’ll even remember your name. And I’ll still want to see you, Genji.”

Genji. Genji. Genji. He loves how his name sounds coming from Kohei’s mouth. How soft the j sounded, as if he’s playing with cotton candy. He hears his name over and over again. An echo in his head.

“ **Genji** .”

No, that’s  _ definitely _ not Kohei. Genji opens his eyes to glare up at his brother older brother, pulling his covers over his face with a grunt.

“Genji, wake up.”

“I am up.”

“Out of bed.”

“No.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Nnnnnnnnnnope.”

“Hungover then.”

“Mmmmmm, yeah.” Genji hears his brother curse under his breath before he yanks Genji’s blanket away. Genji groans, flopping to his front and shoving his face in his pillow to escape the light. His head is already pounding and Hanzo’s dumb voice isn’t helping at all.

“Up.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Will definitely throw up. Leave me alone.” He can practically  _ hear  _ Hanzo roll his eyes. Footsteps fade away. Genji starts counting. 20 seconds to get to the bathroom, 3 to fill a cup with water, only 5 to get some of the pain meds but Hanzo always fumbles with the cap so 10. 20 more seconds and--

Hanzo doesn’t stomp but Genji can tell the difference between his normal walk and his “I can’t believe you’re like this” walk. He hears the sound of the glass hitting his bedside table and Hanzo’s impatient foot tapping.

“Up.”

“Fuck off.”

“Up before Father finds you like this. He won’t be as nice.” Genji merely groans. He waits until Hanzo's footsteps disappear before he even attempts to sit up. Everything spins, his head pounds and it takes everything in him to no hurl right then and there. He blindly reaches for the water Hanzo brought and sips it carefully, thankful for the pain meds. Not that he’ll tell Hanzo that. His phone is flashing.

 

_ 1 Unread Message _

_ Unknown Number: told you I’d remember you Genji :) _

_ Genji: Kohei? _

_ Unknown Number: hey! How’s your hangover? _

_ Genji: Not as bad as my others. Lol. You? _

_ Kohei: slept most of it off. So! How does sat sound? _

_ Genji: For what? _

_ Kohei: a date _

_ Genji: Lol. Alright., Saturday is fine. Same club? _

_ Kohei: the arcade @ 10 _

_ Genji: I’ll be there _

 

_ I shouldn’t be here _ , Genji thinks as he walks through the arcade. A date? What is he doing? He’s not supposed to date like this. This isn’t just stupid it’s dangerous. For both of them.

“Hey,” Kohei startles Genji who had been lost in thought. He’s as tall as Genji remember,s holding out a soda for Genji with another already opened in hand.

“Scaring people is rude y’know,” Genji teases as he takes the soda.

“Sorry not really. It’s cute when you jump like that.” Genji hides his blush by looking into the arcade. It’s not as busy as he thought it’d be considering it’s Saturday, although it is late.

“So, what’s your favorite game here?” Genji asks. Kohei points towards a racing game in the corner. “Lame.  _ Laaaaame _ .”

“Let me guess,” Kohei rolls his eyes. “A fighter game?”

“Absolutely, they’re better.”

“Best of three. One fighting round, one driving round, air hockey for a tie breaker. Loser buys dinner, winner chooses.”

“I’ll absolutely come out on top. I always do.”

Kohei has to bite his lip to keep quiet. Hands on Genji’s waist with a near death grip. Genji feels the bruises starting to form. His hips keep moving, rocking up and down Kohei’s cock. Making the man squirm.

“Damn, Genji, fuck me~”

“I am.”

“Fuck  _ off _ .” Genji laughs. His motions still long enough for Kohei to collect himself. Hands scrabble to pull Genji down, gasping until they’re kissing. Desperate and needy and oh so sweet, impatient.

Kohei’s hands move up and down Genji’s body with curiosity. One hand rests on the nape of Genji’s neck, tangling in his hair and pulling him down for kiss after kiss, while the after grips at his ass. Holding Genji so tight Genji felt like he could never leave.

Genji starts to move his hips again, this time Kohei’s does too. For every roll down of Genji’s, Kohei snaps his upwards, both driving the other crazy until the two are gasping for breath.

“Fuck, I’m close.” Kohei whispers against Genji’s neck, mouthing at the skin.

“I don’t care, I don’t care,” Genji whispers. “Leave a mark, I don’t care.” Genji moans and drops his head closer to Kohei when the other’s hand moves between them and begins to stroke Genji’s dick. His hands ball at the sheets under Kohei, holding for purchase when he gasps and comes hard. Kohei follows soon after, biting at Genji’s neck to hide his moans before hilting himself in Genji.

Genji regrets the still moments. Regret floods over him. This is dangerous and he knows it. Not just for Genji’s sake but Kohei’s too.

Kohei pecks at the bruise on Genji’s neck. A mark to remember him by. Apologetically, Kohei kisses his way back to Genji’s lips, softer than the biting from before. Sweeter. Genji comes back to himself enough to pull away. Almost carelessly pushing away from Kohei and stepping off the bed. The regret is eating at him.

“Stay.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Kohei sits up on the bed to watch Genji dress.

“...I can’t let anyone know. About us.”

“Are you cheating on me already? I’m hurt.” Genji smiles before he can stop himself, turning around to playfully whip his shirt at the gloating Kohei. The smile disappears at the sight of him. Sweet Kohei. Genji looks away and slips his shirt on as the voices in his head start berating him again.

Why does it feel like he’s leaving something important behind?

“I really can’t. I’m sorry.” He braces himself for the anger that always follows. Anger for treating him like he’s good for nothing but sex, unable to make this anything more. Genji never blames them, he’d probably be upset too if the roles were reversed. So he waits for the yelling, passive aggressive comments, ready to block Kohei’s number on the way out and pretend this never happened.

Instead, he hears the sound of bed sheets moving. Feels arms wrap around his waist. A head rests on the small of his back. Kohei holds him close and whispers, “Okay.”

Genji’s heart threatens to break out of his chest. Breath quickens. Hands shake. The cold night air seems to bounce off his warm chest.

This isn’t just a one night stand any more...is it?

“They’ll kill her.” Whenever Hanzo says something stupid, or weird, Genji likes to react as comically as possible. He does so now.  Whipping his head to look at Hanzo with the most incredulous look on his face at the confusing statement.

“ _ What? _ ” Hanzo is unfazed at the reaction, instead pointing to his neck. The look of incredulity snaps away to one of embarrassment when Genji slaps his hand over the mark on his neck. Did he not put makeup on that this morning?

“Sorry,  _ him _ . They’ll kill him if they find out,” Hanzo rolls his shoulders as he talks. Stretching before the two begin the next sparring session, talking to Genji as if this is some sort of normal conversation to have,

Then again, it is at this point.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s no one,” Genji lies. He knows it’s a lie because even saying that makes his heart pain. Kohei is far from just ‘no one’.

Speak of the devil, Genji’s phone buzzes. Hanzo hears it too. Rolling his eyes and turning to leave the dojo, placing his bokken away before calling back, “Don’t let them find out.”

He leaves after that cryptic message. Genji watches him go, bokken now heavy in his hand.

 

_ Kohei: hey :D _

_ Genji: Hey _

_ Kohei: you ok? _

_ Genji: Fine. What’s up? _

_ Kohei: wanna hang out tonight? _

_ Genji: How about now? I’ll buy lunch. _

 

Genji leads him behind the ramen place by the wrist. Once they’re hidden, Kohei is the one to take Genji’s wrists, pinning Genji to the wall and kissing him deep. Why do all of Kohei’s kisses taste sweet? Gentle and caring and so easy to drown in. A hand cups Genji’s cheek, the other pushes on Genji’s back so that he’s leaning into Kohei’s embrace.

“Kohei, I said--”

“I don’t care,” he insists. “We’ll be careful. Make codes, set times, arrange things so it can’t be tracked. Anything, I want this.”

“They’ll  _ kill _ you.”

“ _ If _ they find me.”

“Not if, when. They always do,” Genji pushes back. Kohei nearly falls over from both the push and shock. Genji stares him down, insistent. “We’re done.”

Kohei looks like he’s going to fight it, opening his mouth to yell back at Genji no doubt….but then his mouth fills with blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll get fluffy I promise. I swear it will!!! I just need to break your hearts first, it'll make the fluff better. Ty for your patience about this update. The next chapter is already halfway done so hopefully sometime soon. :D Feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> If you like what I do, please consider buying me a [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/rupeehair). And I do have [commissions](http://rupeecoloredhair.tumblr.com/post/173782190932/writing-commissions) open! Every little bit really, _really_ helps. Ty again for reading and I'll see you next update!


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